I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
