Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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