i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
