There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
