omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
