He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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