Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
