I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
