So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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