i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
