he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
