In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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