dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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