we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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