Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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