Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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