we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
