no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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