I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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