after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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