You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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