ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize