Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
