Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
