What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
