This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
