They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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