Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
