I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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