When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
jump out the window naked night went bad
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
