Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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