There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
