dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
