You're so nebulous sometimes
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
