Buhtt sex?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
