Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
