Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
