There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
