it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
