What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
