Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
