forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
