don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
