OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Be still, my beating vagina.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize