ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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