I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
