She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
