rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
