I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Oh god it's open bar.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
