not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
