NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
