dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
