I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
