i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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