theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
