sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
