when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
