i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He shit in the fireplace
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