My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
