oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
