The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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