I got chris browned last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
