theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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