At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
