I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
