I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize