my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Randomize
