Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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